I'm happy to have discovered this girl, Marie Digby's, music on youtube. I'm in LOVE with her and her music. Makes me feel...well her music describes how I feel. For a while, the subject of her song is what I've been stumbling over. Lately I want to unfold and open myself to new experiences in life and more than that, to new part of myself and love, even though it might mean being broken. I'm broken because I'm afraid of making mistakes..so I can't possibly build a new foundation to stand upon. I love God, but I also feel there's more to life that God wants me to experience life more fully. I'm really really afraid..trembling and scared and guarded. I also realized, to be touched doesn't mean I have to lose myself.
The lyrics are perfect. This is what Marie Digby says:
"This is a song I wrote recently called 'Unfold'.. it's probably the most personal song i've ever written . it came out of my frustration at my tendency to shut people out. Especially in love, i found myself always finding reasons to back away and i couldn't figure out why. This song is literally, my thinking process in trying to understand how i became this person and if i have the power to change it. here are the lyrics:
Unfold -
what i can remember
is alot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
i can't quite put my
finger down on the moment
that i became like ... this
you see, i'm the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
and yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds
but i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my.. imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all.. watch me unfold
unfold
these hands that i hold
behind my back are
bound and broken by my own doing
and i can't feel
anything, anymore
i need a touch to remind me
i'm still real..
my soul
it's dying to be free
i can't live the rest of my life
so guarded
it's up to me to choose..
what kind of life i lead.
cause i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my.. imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all.. watch me unfold
unfold
i will allow someone to love me
i will allow someone to love me...
love me.. love me.."
Monday, November 26, 2007
Marie Digby - Unfold (Original Song)
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Superchic[k] - Stand In The Rain
From the album Beauty From Pain 1.1
She never slows down
She doesn’t know why
But she knows that when she’s all alone
It feels like it’s all coming down
She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down
Chorus:
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fear’s whispering
If she stands, she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything
She’s running from
Wants to give up and lie down
(2x’s)
Chorus:
From the album Beauty From Pain 1.1
She never slows down
She doesn’t know why
But she knows that when she’s all alone
It feels like it’s all coming down
She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down
Chorus:
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fear’s whispering
If she stands, she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything
She’s running from
Wants to give up and lie down
(2x’s)
Chorus:
Hungry to Be Love To Others
I had undoubtedly a revelation. Somehow I've been alone for years, part of me kept from others. I believed and think I still kinda believe that love is important..maybe necessary in the grand construct of humankind..but I don't need others. Then I learned I needed others. Then I learned that maybe I need to be loved too...my lesson in the last day or two is about my need to be loved too. I'm such a silly goose-trying to love others but not accepting love for myself.
Then I had a revelation the other day that maybe only a food lover like me can understand. Our bodies are temples of God. Humans stop for food several times a day because it is NECESSARY. It sustains and nourishes our bodies. That is how God constructed us-we need the energy to burn calories to even continue to be. Similarly, humans are made to love and give love to others. It's not just a whim, it's a need. Wouldn't it be silly to say "I don't need food" and try to exist without it? It's the same concept with love.
I'm nerdy, I know. I think about weird things like this.
Then I had a revelation the other day that maybe only a food lover like me can understand. Our bodies are temples of God. Humans stop for food several times a day because it is NECESSARY. It sustains and nourishes our bodies. That is how God constructed us-we need the energy to burn calories to even continue to be. Similarly, humans are made to love and give love to others. It's not just a whim, it's a need. Wouldn't it be silly to say "I don't need food" and try to exist without it? It's the same concept with love.
I'm nerdy, I know. I think about weird things like this.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
New LIfe Through Jesus
Hi,
This is my new blog. I haven't had one in 2 years. Life has been teaching me many lessons, and I think I need a place to vent and structure my thoughts. Writing is a great outlet, and I type a whole lot faster than I write on paper. So here goes...
A lot has happened in the 2 years since I had my last blog. My last blog shows an incredibly different person, both on the inside and outside. I think I needed a fresh piece of paper so I don't let the past thoughts from my old blog cause me to feel down. My spirit has been transformed through Jesus Christ. Now, before you go off and write me off as a zealot (for those non-religious reading this) I have a lot to share about how I used to be and what changed...ONE THING caused me to make more positive life choices. And I'm grateful to have met Him and become the new person I am today, not through my own power, but through finding Jesus Christ to be the center of my life and being.
Ok, so I am a zealot. But guess what? This really is the best life I've ever lived, as the child of an Almighty Father who is incredibly loving, omnipotent, comforting, true and powerful and all mighty...and I want to share more about it. He plans for me, takes care of me, knows my every need and He never let me down...and He never will cause through it all. He's been the only one to see me with His eyes and guide me at every step, whether the action was little or small I knew He was there by the "coincidences" that occured or the way things worked out. Even the heartbreak of the last 2 years turned out for my good. I learned so much through weathering the storm-things like faith, grace and God's endurance and love through all. I just want to be just like Him. I want to say I love Him with all my heart and soul. Anything I have that might be a source of glory for Him. Now how could I possibly want to do something like this?? I mean..do I just automatically just develop this much awe and faith in a deity just because I know Him to be true? No. Jesus is VERY real in my life and in my eyes. I've been through so much. I've known His love. And because I know God's love, His justice, His goodness and how real He is...I cannot give enough love back. That's how much love has caused me to change. Because God is love. And God is very real. His sacrifice on the cross is the ultimate form of love for me. I cannot overlook that. His love not only changed it, it makes me want to give back-to love as He did, to obey as He did, to be as real as He was with others and God, to show mercy and challenge someone else to be a better person. All in the name of God. A broken heart cannot be healed with interactions with the world, but only through the mercy, grace and love of Jesus Christ..through the actions of another who shows the love of JChrist.
I had a revelation today about true love.
Song: "Songbird"-Eva Cassidy
This is my new blog. I haven't had one in 2 years. Life has been teaching me many lessons, and I think I need a place to vent and structure my thoughts. Writing is a great outlet, and I type a whole lot faster than I write on paper. So here goes...
A lot has happened in the 2 years since I had my last blog. My last blog shows an incredibly different person, both on the inside and outside. I think I needed a fresh piece of paper so I don't let the past thoughts from my old blog cause me to feel down. My spirit has been transformed through Jesus Christ. Now, before you go off and write me off as a zealot (for those non-religious reading this) I have a lot to share about how I used to be and what changed...ONE THING caused me to make more positive life choices. And I'm grateful to have met Him and become the new person I am today, not through my own power, but through finding Jesus Christ to be the center of my life and being.
Ok, so I am a zealot. But guess what? This really is the best life I've ever lived, as the child of an Almighty Father who is incredibly loving, omnipotent, comforting, true and powerful and all mighty...and I want to share more about it. He plans for me, takes care of me, knows my every need and He never let me down...and He never will cause through it all. He's been the only one to see me with His eyes and guide me at every step, whether the action was little or small I knew He was there by the "coincidences" that occured or the way things worked out. Even the heartbreak of the last 2 years turned out for my good. I learned so much through weathering the storm-things like faith, grace and God's endurance and love through all. I just want to be just like Him. I want to say I love Him with all my heart and soul. Anything I have that might be a source of glory for Him. Now how could I possibly want to do something like this?? I mean..do I just automatically just develop this much awe and faith in a deity just because I know Him to be true? No. Jesus is VERY real in my life and in my eyes. I've been through so much. I've known His love. And because I know God's love, His justice, His goodness and how real He is...I cannot give enough love back. That's how much love has caused me to change. Because God is love. And God is very real. His sacrifice on the cross is the ultimate form of love for me. I cannot overlook that. His love not only changed it, it makes me want to give back-to love as He did, to obey as He did, to be as real as He was with others and God, to show mercy and challenge someone else to be a better person. All in the name of God. A broken heart cannot be healed with interactions with the world, but only through the mercy, grace and love of Jesus Christ..through the actions of another who shows the love of JChrist.
I had a revelation today about true love.
Song: "Songbird"-Eva Cassidy
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